We looked at how we view personal space, time, power differences, collectivist and individualist cultures and high and low context (basically how direct and flexible we are culturally). These are generalizations, but they show a trend of differences between the two cultures in amazing ways.
Note: These statements are what people 'tend to' be like, not what all Americans/Chinese are like.
Space:
In the West, we value space so much that we even write songs about "Wide Open Spaces" we don't stand too close to anyone because we don't want to "invade their space" and if we happen to bump into someone, every polite American child knows what they should say... "I'm sorry" right?
Well, in China it looks a little more like this:
In a bus.
In America, we want to know what time it is at all times. We say that time is money and we spend it according to how much value we place on the task at hand. Those are generalizations, of course, and we also value people, but in general, tasks come before people.
In China, relationships are life. There is a saying that I sadly do not know in Chinese that is something like this, "Without relationship, you are dead." So many of their decisions and business deals revolve around relationship, and you really cannot make it here without them. Oh, and they have their own phrase for time: "Time is life."
Power distance:
In America, you can be friends with your boss and there are few people who would think you were trying to get ahead if you went to lunch with him or her. You are considered more of an equal in the relationship even if there is a leader/worker relationship involved.
In China, there is one boss who is so far above us that we have to get through layers of red tape and at least 20 people before we can hope to reach him. You are assigned to the person above you and they are in turn assigned to the person above them. When a leader makes a decision, it is final. You don't question it. A student in my class was trying to help someone who comes from a low power distance culture and works in a high power distance culture. He said, "When you are told to do something, you should just calm down and do it. Don't get mad, just do it." I thought that summed it up pretty well.
Collective and Individual:
Those from the West value individualism. We think about rights, opinions, and responsibilities of the individual. We appreciate each others' differences and uniqueness and admire those who can "pull themselves up by their bootstraps" so to speak. We also talk about diversity a lot!
For those from the East, the group is what matters. Your position in the group defines you. For example, when I am at Olivia's school, I am not referred to as Robin but "Olivia's mom". When they want to talk to me, they simply say, "美华的妈妈。。。" (Olivia's mama....). My students do not usually call me Robin or Mrs. Robin but refer to me as 老师 or "teacher". That is my position and that is how I fit in the group.
There is a sense of safety in the group where it is dangerous outside the group. In the group, you are protected and you belong. Outside the group, you are vulnerable and alone. Not a good place to be in a collectivist culture. Another time I will have to talk about the relationship network and a little about how it works here. Fascinating!
Context:
In the West, we tend to be more direct and focused on the task. We take pride in accomplishing a task and doing it well. That isn't to say we don't value people or want to be with them.
In China, they are more focused on the situation and tend to be indirect... sort of. There are areas where we in the West might either not say anything or be indirect where they ask pointed questions and make very direct statements.
An example might be in the winter when we are wearing 5 layers of clothing to the Chinese 8 layers. They will say, "You aren't wearing enough clothes."(It is the responsibility of the members of the group to help protect and guide others so that everyone is safe, sound, and WARM.) We probably wouldn't say anything. (It is the individual's choice to wear what they want. If they are cold, it is their own problem. We might think they are crazy, but we won't tell them to change their clothes necessarily.)
"So What?"
As I was working through these with my students, I was struck by how different our cultures really are. In many ways, we are polar opposites. I think A and they think Z. I would naturally look up when they would be looking down. It feels so awkward at times and like my clothes don't fit right. Like I eat and eat and never get full. Like I'm walking in sandals when I need fuzzy lined boots.
But then over time, I have learned to wear the clothes the locals are wearing and they fit a little better. I have learned to eat the way they eat and it fills my stomach. I have relinquished my desire to wear the sandals and embraced the boots. The more time I spend in the culture, the more I find myself loving it and appreciating the differences that so frustrated me 11 years ago.
We are different, but that really is all it is: different, and different is really really good. My need for "space" has diminished considerably. I find myself caring more about who I'm with than what we are trying to accomplish. I appreciate the warmth and intimacy of the 'group' and my place in it. I'll never be Chinese no matter how long I live here. I love America and being American, but I treasure what I am learning from the Chinese and experiencing in this culture that is so very unique from my own.
This was a longer post. Thanks for reading.
See ya' next time. 下次见！(xia ci jian)
In the West, we value space so much that we even write songs about "Wide Open Spaces" we don't stand too close to anyone because we don't want to "invade their space" and if we happen to bump into someone, every polite American child knows what they should say... "I'm sorry" right?
Well, in China it looks a little more like this:
In a bus.At the train station.
Time:
"What in the world is personal space?" thinks Robin's student. Exactly the point.
In America, we want to know what time it is at all times. We say that time is money and we spend it according to how much value we place on the task at hand. Those are generalizations, of course, and we also value people, but in general, tasks come before people.
In China, relationships are life. There is a saying that I sadly do not know in Chinese that is something like this, "Without relationship, you are dead." So many of their decisions and business deals revolve around relationship, and you really cannot make it here without them. Oh, and they have their own phrase for time: "Time is life."
Power distance:
In America, you can be friends with your boss and there are few people who would think you were trying to get ahead if you went to lunch with him or her. You are considered more of an equal in the relationship even if there is a leader/worker relationship involved.
In China, there is one boss who is so far above us that we have to get through layers of red tape and at least 20 people before we can hope to reach him. You are assigned to the person above you and they are in turn assigned to the person above them. When a leader makes a decision, it is final. You don't question it. A student in my class was trying to help someone who comes from a low power distance culture and works in a high power distance culture. He said, "When you are told to do something, you should just calm down and do it. Don't get mad, just do it." I thought that summed it up pretty well.
Collective and Individual:
Those from the West value individualism. We think about rights, opinions, and responsibilities of the individual. We appreciate each others' differences and uniqueness and admire those who can "pull themselves up by their bootstraps" so to speak. We also talk about diversity a lot!
For those from the East, the group is what matters. Your position in the group defines you. For example, when I am at Olivia's school, I am not referred to as Robin but "Olivia's mom". When they want to talk to me, they simply say, "美华的妈妈。。。" (Olivia's mama....). My students do not usually call me Robin or Mrs. Robin but refer to me as 老师 or "teacher". That is my position and that is how I fit in the group.
There is a sense of safety in the group where it is dangerous outside the group. In the group, you are protected and you belong. Outside the group, you are vulnerable and alone. Not a good place to be in a collectivist culture. Another time I will have to talk about the relationship network and a little about how it works here. Fascinating!
Context:
In the West, we tend to be more direct and focused on the task. We take pride in accomplishing a task and doing it well. That isn't to say we don't value people or want to be with them.
In China, they are more focused on the situation and tend to be indirect... sort of. There are areas where we in the West might either not say anything or be indirect where they ask pointed questions and make very direct statements.
An example might be in the winter when we are wearing 5 layers of clothing to the Chinese 8 layers. They will say, "You aren't wearing enough clothes."(It is the responsibility of the members of the group to help protect and guide others so that everyone is safe, sound, and WARM.) We probably wouldn't say anything. (It is the individual's choice to wear what they want. If they are cold, it is their own problem. We might think they are crazy, but we won't tell them to change their clothes necessarily.)
"So What?"
As I was working through these with my students, I was struck by how different our cultures really are. In many ways, we are polar opposites. I think A and they think Z. I would naturally look up when they would be looking down. It feels so awkward at times and like my clothes don't fit right. Like I eat and eat and never get full. Like I'm walking in sandals when I need fuzzy lined boots.
But then over time, I have learned to wear the clothes the locals are wearing and they fit a little better. I have learned to eat the way they eat and it fills my stomach. I have relinquished my desire to wear the sandals and embraced the boots. The more time I spend in the culture, the more I find myself loving it and appreciating the differences that so frustrated me 11 years ago.
We are different, but that really is all it is: different, and different is really really good. My need for "space" has diminished considerably. I find myself caring more about who I'm with than what we are trying to accomplish. I appreciate the warmth and intimacy of the 'group' and my place in it. I'll never be Chinese no matter how long I live here. I love America and being American, but I treasure what I am learning from the Chinese and experiencing in this culture that is so very unique from my own.
This was a longer post. Thanks for reading.
See ya' next time. 下次见！(xia ci jian)
