Hello.
I have written something for over thirty days. I met my goal, and I have also made it a habit. Today I am not feeling well, so I think I will give myself a break.
Oh, and if you read about going to the pediatrician in a previous post, we are on round two of that as well. This time, Steve will be taking Olivia. I am not going because I found a teacher to observe and will be on the other side of Harbin all morning. Joel will be with me and a foreign teacher will be watching him while I am in class.
See ya' tomorrow! 明天见！
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Monday, December 5, 2011
Talking from both sides of the same hand.
Steve took Olivia to preschool this morning. On the way down the elevator, he ran into a foreign mom who has a few children. She was asking about Olivia going to school and how old she is and seemed surprised that she was going at 3 years old. Her 3 year old doesn't go. Not sure what the implied message or question was there, but that was basically what happened.
The other day, I was picking Olivia up from school. It was a rather cold afternoon. I had to take Joel with me because nobody was home to watch him. He was bundled up to the point the only thing showing was his eyes and part of his nose. As we were leaving, two of the teachers were also heading out. Joel cried which caught their attention immediately. "He isn't wearing enough clothes. Why did you bring him out? How far away do you live...." I know they care, so I tried to just answer their questions.
Then they talked about how Olivia only comes two half days. This brought on a new onslaught of questions about that. Chinese children, even those aged 2 and 3, who go to preschool will be there from 7:30 to 4:00 five days a week and there are some evening classes they can attend as well (I think right after dinner). They don't understand this business of only bringing a child part of the time.
I am constantly trying to explain that we just want her to have friends, learn some Chinese and have fun. I also teach her at home and her little brother needs her to be with him some too. :) What happened this day that I ran into the teachers happened in the middle of a half week without Steve (who was in Beijing) and I was feeling rather touchy and tired. After trying and failing with all the normal reasoning, I snapped back with "Because I love my child." Almost immediately, I realized what I was saying or implying. I love my child and want to be with her; Chinese parents don't love their children because they leave them in preschool all day every day.
I don't really feel that way. I truly just love her and want to be with her. That is why I stay at home with them. I enjoy the fact that she gets to go to preschool, learn some Chinese, make friends and such, but I couldn't stand the thought of her being there all day everyday while I am at home. I understand that there are times when it is necessary to send children to daycare/ preschool because of work or whatnot, but that isn't my need. Why would I send her there for that long if I didn't have to?
On the flip side (the other side of the hand) when we talk to foreigners or Americans back home, I feel the opposite pull. If I am home, why should she go to preschool at 3 years old? Then I use the same answers: fun, Chinese and friends. The difference is that I am justifying why I send her at all rather than why I send her so little.
Sometimes I feel like I can't win. I'm taken back to the train ride I had last week and the women in the same breath said I had too much and too little on Joel. There is this constant need to explain everything I do to everyone. Then, when I am in the States, I am not really sure if people are questioning me as much as they are just curious or just commenting.
I enjoy the exchange of learning how different people do what they do. It is fun and I glean so much from it, but sometimes it is tiring trying to read into every motive and reason for saying whatever people say. Maybe I don't even need to read into what they say, but I have to read into that to even see if I need to read into it. Do you see my dilemma?
Maybe it isn't as big of an issue as all that. Maybe I just need to relax and learn to laugh more.
Chinese word for the day: Why? - 'wei shenme?' 为什么？
明天见！See ya tomorrow!
The other day, I was picking Olivia up from school. It was a rather cold afternoon. I had to take Joel with me because nobody was home to watch him. He was bundled up to the point the only thing showing was his eyes and part of his nose. As we were leaving, two of the teachers were also heading out. Joel cried which caught their attention immediately. "He isn't wearing enough clothes. Why did you bring him out? How far away do you live...." I know they care, so I tried to just answer their questions.
Then they talked about how Olivia only comes two half days. This brought on a new onslaught of questions about that. Chinese children, even those aged 2 and 3, who go to preschool will be there from 7:30 to 4:00 five days a week and there are some evening classes they can attend as well (I think right after dinner). They don't understand this business of only bringing a child part of the time.
I am constantly trying to explain that we just want her to have friends, learn some Chinese and have fun. I also teach her at home and her little brother needs her to be with him some too. :) What happened this day that I ran into the teachers happened in the middle of a half week without Steve (who was in Beijing) and I was feeling rather touchy and tired. After trying and failing with all the normal reasoning, I snapped back with "Because I love my child." Almost immediately, I realized what I was saying or implying. I love my child and want to be with her; Chinese parents don't love their children because they leave them in preschool all day every day.
I don't really feel that way. I truly just love her and want to be with her. That is why I stay at home with them. I enjoy the fact that she gets to go to preschool, learn some Chinese, make friends and such, but I couldn't stand the thought of her being there all day everyday while I am at home. I understand that there are times when it is necessary to send children to daycare/ preschool because of work or whatnot, but that isn't my need. Why would I send her there for that long if I didn't have to?
On the flip side (the other side of the hand) when we talk to foreigners or Americans back home, I feel the opposite pull. If I am home, why should she go to preschool at 3 years old? Then I use the same answers: fun, Chinese and friends. The difference is that I am justifying why I send her at all rather than why I send her so little.
Sometimes I feel like I can't win. I'm taken back to the train ride I had last week and the women in the same breath said I had too much and too little on Joel. There is this constant need to explain everything I do to everyone. Then, when I am in the States, I am not really sure if people are questioning me as much as they are just curious or just commenting.
I enjoy the exchange of learning how different people do what they do. It is fun and I glean so much from it, but sometimes it is tiring trying to read into every motive and reason for saying whatever people say. Maybe I don't even need to read into what they say, but I have to read into that to even see if I need to read into it. Do you see my dilemma?
Maybe it isn't as big of an issue as all that. Maybe I just need to relax and learn to laugh more.
Chinese word for the day: Why? - 'wei shenme?' 为什么？
明天见！See ya tomorrow!
O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree...
Well, Christmas is upon us. The tree has been put up along with a few special decorations. Christmas day is Joel's birthday, but today Christmas was literally upon him.
When putting the ornaments on the tree, Olivia put up a few that are special to her. Of course she placed them lower on the tree. Joel found one of these very fascinating and decided to hold it awhile. Low and behold, the tree fell on top of him.
Thankfully, it isn't a very large or heavy tree. In fact, he didn't even cry. When we lifted the thing off of him, he was still holding the ornament. I guess he wanted it.
We're really glad he was okay and the tree was just a little shaken by the whole experience.
If only we had thought to pick up the camera along with the tree.
See ya' tomorrow! 明天见！
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Home sweet home.
Steve just got back today from his trip to Beijing where he helps the staff there with their computers. He has been gone since Wednesday and he arrived early this morning (Sunday). It is so good to have him back and now it feels like home again. It isn't that it was unbearably hard without him, but it just wasn't... right. It is good that he can go personally to help people out, but I'm so glad to have him back here.
Joel stood up by himself today (without holding onto anything else) for about 10 whole seconds. It felt like a very long time! :) He is a strong little boy, and I expect him to be walking soon. May the Christmas tree survive the season with Joel's mobility and impulsive behavior! :)
There are a few more days to my 30 day challenge, and I have really been enjoying the process. Even though the dates on the blog do not reflect that I have written every day, I really have. That is the problem with time zones and blog sites that don't let you manipulate the time when you try to say that it is later than they think it is. :) Either way, I have enjoyed the process of sitting down and writing out something every day whether or not anybody cares to read it. I look forward to continuing this!
I am tired tonight though, so I think I will call it a day and see ya'll tomorrow!
明天见！
Joel stood up by himself today (without holding onto anything else) for about 10 whole seconds. It felt like a very long time! :) He is a strong little boy, and I expect him to be walking soon. May the Christmas tree survive the season with Joel's mobility and impulsive behavior! :)
There are a few more days to my 30 day challenge, and I have really been enjoying the process. Even though the dates on the blog do not reflect that I have written every day, I really have. That is the problem with time zones and blog sites that don't let you manipulate the time when you try to say that it is later than they think it is. :) Either way, I have enjoyed the process of sitting down and writing out something every day whether or not anybody cares to read it. I look forward to continuing this!
I am tired tonight though, so I think I will call it a day and see ya'll tomorrow!
明天见！
Saturday, December 3, 2011
All we need is play dough and kitchen utensils
There is a family that lives on our floor with a little girl. She is four, and she and Olivia really enjoy playing together. She is a bit active. Sometimes I can handle and enjoy the more "renao" (see below) atmosphere, but there are other times when I just need life to be a bit calmer.
It is in those moments that I pull the homemade play dough out of the fridge, cover the coffee table with wax paper (precious stuff that is!) grab a rolling pin, garlic press, two sets of chopsticks, six cookie cutters and a plastic knife. Suddenly, the very active room settles down into a creative, almost therapeutic, haven.
What is it about rolling blue dough between our hands and squishing it with our fingers makes life seem more wonderful? :)
When all is said and done, everyone can go back to being just as excited as their little hearts can handle.
热闹= "re nao"lively; buzzing with excitement; have a lively time; excitement; lively scene; merriment; merrymaking; mirth; fun; hilarity ex: Wo (I) xihuan (like) renao (fun). 我喜欢热闹。
(cutting it close today. It is 11:46 pm my time right now!)
明天见！ See ya' tomorrow!
It is in those moments that I pull the homemade play dough out of the fridge, cover the coffee table with wax paper (precious stuff that is!) grab a rolling pin, garlic press, two sets of chopsticks, six cookie cutters and a plastic knife. Suddenly, the very active room settles down into a creative, almost therapeutic, haven.
What is it about rolling blue dough between our hands and squishing it with our fingers makes life seem more wonderful? :)
When all is said and done, everyone can go back to being just as excited as their little hearts can handle.
热闹= "re nao"lively; buzzing with excitement; have a lively time; excitement; lively scene; merriment; merrymaking; mirth; fun; hilarity ex: Wo (I) xihuan (like) renao (fun). 我喜欢热闹。
(cutting it close today. It is 11:46 pm my time right now!)
明天见！ See ya' tomorrow!
Friday, December 2, 2011
Eat! Be still. Go to sleep. Listen to me. What did I just say?
Sometimes it feels like my words shoot out at my children. I desire to have my words be gentle, loving, encouraging and empowering, but sometimes they come out like a machine gun of commands and reprimands with select praises in the middle. Perhaps it is more that I just talk at them all day. Maybe this is a mother thing or maybe it is something I need to work on personally, but either way, I wish my words came out softer.
I really enjoy the times I get to just sit with them. It is fun during Joel's naps when Olivia and I can have some one on one time together. She is really funny, and she has such an imagination! I love the way she thinks about things and pieces ideas together and comes up with something all her own. She makes up songs about whatever she is thinking about at the time. (A lot like her baba (dad).) I can give her little tasks and responsibilities, and she shows me how much she has grown. Sometimes I have to remind myself that she is only three, but in so many ways she exceeds my expectations and is a sweet light in my life.
Joel too is growing very fast. The time we spent on the train together Monday was so special. I enjoyed watching him interact with the Chinese friends we made on the train. He acted shy by putting his head in my shoulder and smiling. She laughed and "played" with people who payed him even a little attention. It is so much fun to see his little personality coming out. He is also learning so much and exploring. There is a big difference between him and Olivia. Maybe it has to do with him being a boy, but maybe it is just him being Joel.
My children are precious to me, and I am so thankful for them. Sometimes it is hard to see past the task of caring for the home, but when I stop talking (slow to speak) start listening (quick to listen) and hold my wrath a bay (slow to become angry) I realize what an incredible gift they are and how much God is showing and teaching me through them.
May He guide Steve and me as we seek to please Him in how we raise our children as well as give us wisdom in all the different circumstances that come along. It isn't an easy or small matter taking care of little people. :)
I really enjoy the times I get to just sit with them. It is fun during Joel's naps when Olivia and I can have some one on one time together. She is really funny, and she has such an imagination! I love the way she thinks about things and pieces ideas together and comes up with something all her own. She makes up songs about whatever she is thinking about at the time. (A lot like her baba (dad).) I can give her little tasks and responsibilities, and she shows me how much she has grown. Sometimes I have to remind myself that she is only three, but in so many ways she exceeds my expectations and is a sweet light in my life.
Joel too is growing very fast. The time we spent on the train together Monday was so special. I enjoyed watching him interact with the Chinese friends we made on the train. He acted shy by putting his head in my shoulder and smiling. She laughed and "played" with people who payed him even a little attention. It is so much fun to see his little personality coming out. He is also learning so much and exploring. There is a big difference between him and Olivia. Maybe it has to do with him being a boy, but maybe it is just him being Joel.
My children are precious to me, and I am so thankful for them. Sometimes it is hard to see past the task of caring for the home, but when I stop talking (slow to speak) start listening (quick to listen) and hold my wrath a bay (slow to become angry) I realize what an incredible gift they are and how much God is showing and teaching me through them.
May He guide Steve and me as we seek to please Him in how we raise our children as well as give us wisdom in all the different circumstances that come along. It isn't an easy or small matter taking care of little people. :)
孩子 － haizi "child"
See ya' tomorrow! 明天见！
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Observations
I am taking some courses to get a certificate to be a mentor teacher. What this means is that I am taking a class by doing homework now. When I get to Thailand, I will have a one week class and then continue with homework next semester. I will do the same thing next year as well. I also have to make a short trip to India for a practicum assignment, but that will be next year since Joel is a bit small to leave for five days.
My homework this semester includes reading and email discussion about different questions the teacher posts each month. I also have to observe a foreign teacher (non-Chinese) and a national teacher (Chinese) for a total of 5 observations. I have already observed the foreign teacher twice and will be observing a Chinese teacher three times. Ideally, this should have already been happening. All my studies for the semester will culminate with a reflection paper and a presentation due when I get to class this winter.
I was most excited about observing and getting to know some newer national teachers through these projects. I had no idea, however, what it would take to actually be able to observe one. I tried contacting a leader in the English department. A few teachers were mentioned, all fell through. One was sick and a couple were not actually teaching by the time I got their names. They were simply showing movies in class (there is over a month left in the semester by the way). I searched out options for observing a teacher who teaches Chinese. That department does not allow anyone to observe for any reason. Slam! goes the door. I asked teachers at the other two larger universities in Harbin and they don't know anyone who has taught less than five years.
My last hope is in the school in town where the CTF team is teaching. That school is an hour long bus ride away from my school, but there is a great possibility that one of the teachers there will be willing. My fingers are crossed at my last hope. I should know within the next few days.
The funny thing about this is that the purpose of the observation is for me to mentor or help the new national teacher. As it is turning out, the national teacher is "helping" me by allowing me to mentor them for my class. At first glance, that seems rather ridiculous, but the more I think about it, the better it is. You see, in China, relationship makes all the difference in the world. Give and take is a part of the way the system works. It is an uncomfortable imbalance when one person does all the giving or taking. So, I am pulling "guanxi" to get my assignment done, but I will also be offering a service to this teacher which will in some ways help her and strengthen every one's relationship. Mine with the CTF team; hers with the team there and with me. Win win.
Now, I just need to wait and see if all the ducks line up and I actually get to observe her.
I love teaching, and I have been so excited about this new aspect of the field. I cannot be in the classroom as much now that I stay home with Olivia and Joel, so it gives me a way to stay connected. There is nothing like being able to observe teachers and then talk about all the things they did that they were not even aware happened. It is amazing! It is also a position I take very seriously and humbly since I have been the recipient of some ugly observations - meaning they didn't do it very graciously.
Once, an observer interrupted my class to teach for me. It was embarrassing and after that happened I didn't care to hear anything she had to say. There is a line of respect that must be towed, and one thing about this course I really like is that it addresses those issues. There might be a place for an observer to teach a portion of a class, but it isn't something that the observer can decide in the middle of observing.
My hope is that after I observe someone and meet with them that they feel encouraged and empowered even in the areas they feel to be their weakest. Anyway, I won't go on with this. I could! :)
Word for the day:
关系 guanxi means "relationship" but there is something about this word that gives it a much richer and significant meaning than the English translation. In my experience, there is an element of responsibility and obligation connected. You have guanxi, can "pull" it and at times you get caught in its net. Without it, you are nothing in this society. With it, you have much power and influence.
明天见！ See ya' tomorrow!
My homework this semester includes reading and email discussion about different questions the teacher posts each month. I also have to observe a foreign teacher (non-Chinese) and a national teacher (Chinese) for a total of 5 observations. I have already observed the foreign teacher twice and will be observing a Chinese teacher three times. Ideally, this should have already been happening. All my studies for the semester will culminate with a reflection paper and a presentation due when I get to class this winter.
I was most excited about observing and getting to know some newer national teachers through these projects. I had no idea, however, what it would take to actually be able to observe one. I tried contacting a leader in the English department. A few teachers were mentioned, all fell through. One was sick and a couple were not actually teaching by the time I got their names. They were simply showing movies in class (there is over a month left in the semester by the way). I searched out options for observing a teacher who teaches Chinese. That department does not allow anyone to observe for any reason. Slam! goes the door. I asked teachers at the other two larger universities in Harbin and they don't know anyone who has taught less than five years.
My last hope is in the school in town where the CTF team is teaching. That school is an hour long bus ride away from my school, but there is a great possibility that one of the teachers there will be willing. My fingers are crossed at my last hope. I should know within the next few days.
The funny thing about this is that the purpose of the observation is for me to mentor or help the new national teacher. As it is turning out, the national teacher is "helping" me by allowing me to mentor them for my class. At first glance, that seems rather ridiculous, but the more I think about it, the better it is. You see, in China, relationship makes all the difference in the world. Give and take is a part of the way the system works. It is an uncomfortable imbalance when one person does all the giving or taking. So, I am pulling "guanxi" to get my assignment done, but I will also be offering a service to this teacher which will in some ways help her and strengthen every one's relationship. Mine with the CTF team; hers with the team there and with me. Win win.
Now, I just need to wait and see if all the ducks line up and I actually get to observe her.
I love teaching, and I have been so excited about this new aspect of the field. I cannot be in the classroom as much now that I stay home with Olivia and Joel, so it gives me a way to stay connected. There is nothing like being able to observe teachers and then talk about all the things they did that they were not even aware happened. It is amazing! It is also a position I take very seriously and humbly since I have been the recipient of some ugly observations - meaning they didn't do it very graciously.
Once, an observer interrupted my class to teach for me. It was embarrassing and after that happened I didn't care to hear anything she had to say. There is a line of respect that must be towed, and one thing about this course I really like is that it addresses those issues. There might be a place for an observer to teach a portion of a class, but it isn't something that the observer can decide in the middle of observing.
My hope is that after I observe someone and meet with them that they feel encouraged and empowered even in the areas they feel to be their weakest. Anyway, I won't go on with this. I could! :)
Word for the day:
关系 guanxi means "relationship" but there is something about this word that gives it a much richer and significant meaning than the English translation. In my experience, there is an element of responsibility and obligation connected. You have guanxi, can "pull" it and at times you get caught in its net. Without it, you are nothing in this society. With it, you have much power and influence.
明天见！ See ya' tomorrow!
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