Steve took Olivia to preschool this morning. On the way down the elevator, he ran into a foreign mom who has a few children. She was asking about Olivia going to school and how old she is and seemed surprised that she was going at 3 years old. Her 3 year old doesn't go. Not sure what the implied message or question was there, but that was basically what happened.
The other day, I was picking Olivia up from school. It was a rather cold afternoon. I had to take Joel with me because nobody was home to watch him. He was bundled up to the point the only thing showing was his eyes and part of his nose. As we were leaving, two of the teachers were also heading out. Joel cried which caught their attention immediately. "He isn't wearing enough clothes. Why did you bring him out? How far away do you live...." I know they care, so I tried to just answer their questions.
Then they talked about how Olivia only comes two half days. This brought on a new onslaught of questions about that. Chinese children, even those aged 2 and 3, who go to preschool will be there from 7:30 to 4:00 five days a week and there are some evening classes they can attend as well (I think right after dinner). They don't understand this business of only bringing a child part of the time.
I am constantly trying to explain that we just want her to have friends, learn some Chinese and have fun. I also teach her at home and her little brother needs her to be with him some too. :) What happened this day that I ran into the teachers happened in the middle of a half week without Steve (who was in Beijing) and I was feeling rather touchy and tired. After trying and failing with all the normal reasoning, I snapped back with "Because I love my child." Almost immediately, I realized what I was saying or implying. I love my child and want to be with her; Chinese parents don't love their children because they leave them in preschool all day every day.
I don't really feel that way. I truly just love her and want to be with her. That is why I stay at home with them. I enjoy the fact that she gets to go to preschool, learn some Chinese, make friends and such, but I couldn't stand the thought of her being there all day everyday while I am at home. I understand that there are times when it is necessary to send children to daycare/ preschool because of work or whatnot, but that isn't my need. Why would I send her there for that long if I didn't have to?
On the flip side (the other side of the hand) when we talk to foreigners or Americans back home, I feel the opposite pull. If I am home, why should she go to preschool at 3 years old? Then I use the same answers: fun, Chinese and friends. The difference is that I am justifying why I send her at all rather than why I send her so little.
Sometimes I feel like I can't win. I'm taken back to the train ride I had last week and the women in the same breath said I had too much and too little on Joel. There is this constant need to explain everything I do to everyone. Then, when I am in the States, I am not really sure if people are questioning me as much as they are just curious or just commenting.
I enjoy the exchange of learning how different people do what they do. It is fun and I glean so much from it, but sometimes it is tiring trying to read into every motive and reason for saying whatever people say. Maybe I don't even need to read into what they say, but I have to read into that to even see if I need to read into it. Do you see my dilemma?
Maybe it isn't as big of an issue as all that. Maybe I just need to relax and learn to laugh more.
Chinese word for the day: Why? - 'wei shenme?' 为什么？
明天见！See ya tomorrow!
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