The following is a document I typed out while in the hospital a year ago when Joel was born. Reading it, I can't help but remember all the things that I didn't write down. It was a good and hard day. I hope you don't mind reading it.
I just gave birth to a baby boy on Christmas morning.
Joel was a month early, so most of the day has been spent apart, we are in Harbin and not Beijing, he is in the incubator getting his first Chinese hospital experience. I am in the room quite sad.
Yet, I cannot help thinking of how Mary rejoiced in her Son who was her Savior. Joel is not our savior of course, but I want to rejoice in the fact that my Savior saw it fit to bless me with the birth of this baby today of all days. When I planned to have a special Christmas time with just Olivia, He saw this as better. This morning at about 2 something after a night of no sleep and unending coughing, I began to feel contractions. It took me awhile to admit that is what they really were and get over being mad. Haha. When I decided it was time to tell Steve, I think I was on the faster track. Contractions were coming fast and getting harder. By the time we called Cherry, her dad came to get us, and we were downstairs, I was afraid the baby was going to come in the lobby! In the van, I prepared myself and Steve was ready to catch the baby! Cherry's dad ran not a few red lights. It felt SO good to push, but quite scary too since we were still in the van and not quite there yet. I was not afraid to have the baby; I was afraid to have him in the van!
We got to St. Maria Maternity Hospital around 7:30 and then got on the elevator to head up to the 5th floor. "The baby is coming NOW!" ringing in my head and out my mouth. Some man got on the elevator with us and had the audacity to hit the fourth floor button.
When we got to the delivery room, they were not going to let Steve come in. I was not going to let Steve go unless the let him in, so I held on tight to his arm and wouldn't let go. Ha ha. I won.
Then the comic show of all these women yelling "push" "don't push" and me not really getting a feel for what my body was doing anymore. That bugged me. I tore. Another nurse kept fussing at me because I could not relax for her to find a vein (when I didn't want an iv anyway) and another kept telling me to let go of Steve's hand and hold some bar below the bed. I ignored that one. 15 min later at 8 am, I learned we had a boy. They cut the chord so fast I don't think it had time to stop pumping, they gave him some shot without asking, put him by my head rather than let me hold him, and gave me some story about needing to check him for 2 hours before I had a chance to say "spit"! They took him and sewed me up without a local anesthetic. OUCH!
Once I did see him, he nursed great before they whisked him away again for another 6 or more hours. So, since 8 this morning, I have only seen him about half an hour (it is now 5:30 pm) and I am ready to bond with my very little baby. Steve has not held him yet either. We are ready to be in control a little more.
(In the end, I ended up walking down the hall to the room where he had been all day to find out what was keeping them. A nurse was being so sweet and changing a very yucky diaper. It was so special to have him stay in our room that night - Chinese women wouldn't have had that option. The team was also great and watched Olivia for the three days we were in the hospital. Steve brought her one day and she was so gentle and good with him. She was a proud big sister that day! There is so much more that this document didn't say, but in the end I was thankful for how God took control of a situation where I felt very out of control. He is good, and Joel is precious!)Oh how fast a year can go by!
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