Do's and Don'ts.

Recently after getting unreasonably upset about a sippy cup, I realized that I have a terrible tendency to make a federal case out of every little thing that my children may do. For some reason, my daughter has this fascination with pushing the top of Joel's sippy cup into the cup. After proudly announcing that she had accomplished this feat, I jumped on her and told her to never touch the cup again. I don't think I was yelling, but my face showed that I meant business. The result as you might imagine was tears at the time and a repeat of the offense a few days later.

After thinking about how ridiculous that was to get so up in arms about such a little thing, I decided to make a list of do's and don'ts for myself. The top of the list, "Don't make a federal case out of everything." "Do make a big deal about the things that matter." "Don't get into a power struggle." "Do find the buttons that defuse the preschool attitude" and so on it went.

Since then, I have found that I have tended to lean a bit too far the other direction, and want to lighten everything, but as I adjust and find the balance of what to deal with and what to overlook, I am finding that my relationship with Olivia is doing so much better. In fact, the second time the sippy cup was being accosted, I simply said, "Now Olivia, you know you aren't supposed to play with that. Please put it down." The result? She put it down and started playing with something else.

Tonight was a time I got to hone my defusing skills. She was moody after having no nap and it was getting late. She didn't want to take a bath the way I wanted her to and we had to get to a meeting. We made it through the bath okay, but when it came time to get out and dry off, she had reached the end of her patience. She was crying about nothing and whining about everything. Inside I was feeling that old pull to force the issue and move on with her kicking and screaming, but something in me said to wait and try something new.

I said, "Olivia. Do you want to wear your snowman pajamas?" She looked at me a second and said she did. I said that I thought they were dry and she could wear them. She almost started blubbering again when I continued talking about the pajamas and even wrapped her up funny in the towel and whisked her out of the bathroom in my arms. Something I said made her laugh and she giggled all the way to the bedroom. She waited on the table patiently, went through the whole deal of getting dressed without a fuss and we went to the meeting happy. Amazing.

I wish it always happened so nicely. Sadly there are usually more tears than I wish on both sides and a constant pull to be right (also on both sides) and get our way and not give in and.... I think you get the idea. I have given birth to a stubborn little girl who takes after her mother way too much in that area. Thankfully I married a man who is very patient and has taught me a lot about the art of timing.

I have even had more of a voice in her life and she has responded better to me in general. When she doesn't obey as she should or shows an unacceptable attitude, we work through it and she seems to do better afterwards. She is really growing up fast.

See ya' next time! 下次见！ xia ci jian!